Lately,the desire to find a good man,a good husband,get married happily ever after and have kids and dogs came up again.Ha,sounds funny after i won the competition right?Well,because i wished i had someone close to share my good news with.Hey not that i dun like sharing with my family or friends,but sharing this joy with your special ones is something really amazing..i believe.So the loneliness feeling creeped into me this whole week and I decided to pray about my love life.Not until i read Captivating by John & Stasi Eldredge.I lent becks this book and decided to read it again and to my surprise,it spoke to me in such a gentle and assuring way.
Quoting from the book on page 9,"One of my favourite games growing up was kidnapped and rescued.I know many little girls who played this-or wished they had.To be the beauty,abducted by the bad guys,fought for and rescued by a hero-some version of this had a place in our dreams.Like Sleeping Beauty,like Cinderella,I wanted to be the heroine and have my hero come for me.Why am i embarrassed to tell you this?I simple loved feeling wanted and fought for.This desire is set deep in the heart of every little girl and every woman.Yet most of us are ashamed of it.We downplay it.We pretend that it is less than it is.We are women of the twenty-first century after all-strong,independent,and capable,thank you very much.Uh-huh..and who is buying all those romance novels?"
After reading through this passage,emotions choked me. I tried being that indepedent ooh ahh career minded wannabe,tried being a pleaser yet something is still missing.Is it the desire for outward beauty?No but rather a desire to be captivating in the depths of who I am.Cinderella is beautiful,yes,but she is also good.Her outward beauty would be hollow were it not for the beauty of her heart.That's why we love her. Therefore it isnt about dresses or makeup.
For now,dont you recognise that a woman yearns to be seen,and to be thought of as captivating?We desire to possess a beauty that is worth pursuing,worth fighting for,a beauty that is core to who we truly are.We want beauty that can be seen;beauty that can be felt;beauty that affects others;a beauty all our own to unveil.
The most heart warming part after praying to God was a vision He showed me. I saw a man holding my hands and together we walked into the aisle of the church.The man then knelt down on his knees and asked God for my hand.Wow!Its so sweet!Its beyond beautiful and truly in God's time will I meet the man God has chosen for me. Yet in the meantime,whenever i feel anxious,impatient,worried,cautious or when i am feeling down about my singlehood life.I recite this letter from an unknown author writing from God's point of view and I really want to share this with all who are single out there!
"Take delight in the Lord,and He will give you the desires of your heart."-Psalm 37:4
"Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone-to have a deep soul relationship with another,to be loved thoroughly and exclusively.But God to a christian says, No, not until you are satifised,fulfilled and content with being loved by Me alone-with giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me-with having an intensely personal and unique relationship with Me alone will you be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you.You will never be united with another until you are united with Me-exclusive of anyone or anything else,exclusive of any desires or longings.I want you to stop planning,stop wishing,and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing-one that you cannot imagine.I want you to have the best.Please allow Me to bring it to you.You just keep watching Me,expecting the greatest things-keep experiencing the satisfaction that I am.Keep listening and learning the things I tell you.You just wait.That's all.
Don't be anxious.Don't worry.Don't look around at the things other have or that I've given them.Don't look at the things you think you want.You just keep looking off and away up to Me,or you'll miss what I want to show you.
And then,when you are ready.I'll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any you can dream of.You see,until you are ready,and until the one I have for you is ready(I am working even at the moment to have both of you ready at the same time),until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I prepared for you,you wont be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me,and this is the perfect love.
And dear one,I want you to have this most wonderful love,I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me,and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty,perfection and love that I offer you with Myself.
Know that I love you utterly.
I am God
Believe and be satisfied."
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