A Test of Faith

Before the show on sat,i was in a panicky and worrying mood.Many times i ask friends for affirmation,encouragement and motivation.I kept having the recurring feeling of being seen as a loser,a reject,an outcast in the glamourous world of fashion. I just feel i do not belong and cant live up to the exciting lifestyle of the party fashion hippy goers.

But as my previous post title says:Thy Will Be Done.This message was constantly in my mind and heart whenever i prayed and confessed to God of my hopes,dreams and desires. And on friday,I went into adoration room and seek God for peace in my heart after work,God spoke to me in such a gentle and loving way.The first thing i told God was..

I really hope to win.I want to win.Please let me win.

And i went on thanking and praising God for this amazing opportunity and experience i will receive.Just then God showed me a vision of myself on a high cliff.Just like the picture i posted,i saw myself climbing with all my heart on a tiny weeny thin string which will bring me to another cliff.As i struggled to hold on tightly to the string,I was distracted by people on the ground looking at me.Some gave me looks hoping i will perserve,some gave me looks wishing i will fall.

I became so distressed,i fell.Then God put me back to my original spot and told me to try again.After many tries,I fall over and over again after being so affected by the stares of the people below.And God lovingly said,"Look straight,focus at the end point where I am there.Look at me.Dwell in me."

With that said,I focused on God and left the room with joy and hope that GOD is greater than my fears,His ways are beyond my understanding and I really surrender all my feelings and emotions to Him.Saturday finally came,things went on smoothly with a good last min model,the clothes and shoes fit her right and i got many dressers whom i knew in school helping me out during my fashion show. But i still find the bustle and hustle of this event freaking me out.So i sneaked into the toilet for a one to one conversation with GOD.

I hid in the last cubicle and prayed.I prayed to Daddy God for all these wonderful blessings he showered me.I thank Him for everything and lastly i prayed to God to bless me with love and more love should i win or not win the competition.For i know,even if i lose,God still sees me as a special and unique girl.The quiet moment really made my day.I left the toilet with a skip and was all ready for the show.

And soon it came to the nerve-racking part,where everyone anticipate who will win the award?Soon a coordinator told all of us to pack our clothes,just then i heard God saying,"Wait,do not pack first.""Huh,why not?"I questioned but got no answer.But honestly at this point,I really gave it all up to GOD and was pretty sure i have 0.001% of winning the award.Just then a lady shouted in the room."where is priscilla tan?get her models all dressed now!"

Within seconds,all my models wore my outfits again.Gosh,it was at this point where i realized i might have a chance of winning.Whispering and pointing of fingers flooded the atmosphere of the stuffy backstage.I was in shock.I went,"O my God,no way,no way,no way GOD.."

God replied me with a smile,"Yes my love,i have blessed you with this win!Enjoy!"

I nearly fainted because its just so WOW.I have taken part in so many fashion competition before but never have i once won anything thing.Not even a consolation prize.Its the first time in my ever human life winning.O my,my mind went blank.All i could think of was the faces of my parents,family and friends.I really just hope they will be so happy for me.O my,I really did it.O my.

It has been almost two days since the show and I still think its so surreal.I really want to thank Almighty God for this magnificent grace and blessing.Truly without God,I am nothing,Truly in God's time,i am prepared and Truly all of this is GOD's GLORY!

A reporter from a fashion magazine interviewed me after the show asking me to use one word to sum up my feelings."Blessed"I replied.