Gosh!

I can only use two words to describe what happened during the weekends.

Simply INDESCRIBABLE.

I am now in complete awe I do not even know how to start. Alright I will start from last sunday before I left connectors spiritual prep, Sury stopped me and told me to keep cell session in prayers. I promised but only got down to praying on Wed night during cell intercessory prayer meet. In ado room, I prayed and asked God for some inspiration and I got 2 words.

Passion and Mission. (First thought in my mind, best wishes to the one giving the session!) And I continued asking who in cell did He choose to do the session and guess what I heard? You, yes you pris! (Second thought, nooo it cant be me!) So I decided to ask more and still I got its you pris.

Seriously how great. I was really clueless about this topic and next God gave me a sentence.(How do you turn your passion into your mission?)

Again, I buried my head and was really behaving like a baby whining and complaining that HE cannot choose me.But I guess I had no choice right because I cannot just arrow others to do it. Thankfully sury, gavin and the rest kept assuring me and told me to approach them if I needed any help. For the next 3 days, my mind was blank and spacey..I had some ideas but I just could not think of how to format it into a mini session!!!

The night before sat, I was in total manic panic mode. But strangely on sat morning, I woke up with lots of energy, I was singing and smiling like a crazy woman to my kids, the horrible wet weather didnt even dampen my mood! Ideas came and I even googled online on whatever I can find about this topic. 3pm came and everyone gathered at Cana. Sheesh on my way there, my heart started beating really fast and was in freaked out mood again.

God kept assuring me that I just need to trust him and I had to keep ringing that thought in my head to calm myself down. Soon worship started and as I closed my eyes I saw myself on stage. Everyone in cell was singing and their voices were just beside me and I looked out into the audience hall. There was no one but Jesus. He smiled at me and told me that the only audience I need to impress is HIM. What others say does not matter at all and all I need to do is just trust in HIM and HE will do the rest.

The session went on and my heart was pumping really fast and within less than 15 mins, it was over. Sheesh! All the things I have googled and printed out were not used because my mind went blank again. Ha..strangely I shared from my heart and everyone looked like they understood what I said with smiles and eyes wide open!! Finally when cell ended with sharings and intercessory, I made my way for mass at St Peter and Paul church.

I know this sounds annoying but I began to judge myself and think really crap about my session. I was disappointed that I didnt talk more, didnt use more of my notes and so on. During mass, I felt unworthy again and after a not too great confession weeks ago, I was prompted to go for confession after mass but I was still fearful.

Amazingly I met Abigail and she told me she will wait for me to finish my confession before we headed to OLPS for yam session. WOW!the confession was really really really amazing. I do not know how to describe how I felt but I know Jesus was there.

During worship at YAM session, I saw a vision of God removing a tight knitted rope that was intertwined in a person's heart. God said,"let go and let me take control." I don't really know if that vision was meant for me or someone else and as I continued to be deep in praise, I heard God saying this.

"There is someone in this room with a health problem. Tell the person he is healed."

Er...I had a huge battle in my head thinking I must be mad!I am no martin, gerald or some experienced prayer warrior!!!But I decided to ask God to show me what kind of health problem is it and I saw an ankle. Still, with so many affirmations from GOD, I didnt dare to speak out. So I continued asking who that person might be and God showed me the person's face too! I opened my eyes and looked at her but she looks perfectly FINE!!So that battle within me continued and again I asked for another sign that this vision is from GOD.

I saw a huge wave crashing but I cant hear the sound of it and just then God said, "That is because you are not saying what you see."

With faith as tiny as a mustard seed, I shared my vision and I looked to jane immediately for assurance. She told me its ok even if I made a mistake. Just then, Vanessa said she wanted to share something with us. Apparently she sprained her ankle 2 wks ago and have been praying for healing and upon hearing what I shared, she decided to test if she was really healed and she tried walking down the stairs and there was no more pain!

Wow.WOW.WOW. "Thank you GOD for healing Van and for assuring me you are really with me. I pray that I can learn to trust you more Lord!"