Reflections

Ro's aunt passed me this book before we left for home. From the introduction to each page I am flipping through right now, I'm hooked! You really have to read it to understand why this book is a must-read! But I will share this paragraph that really got me thinking

On page 131..

Meditation is both the anchor and the wings of Yoga. Meditation is the way. There's a difference between meditation and prayer, though both practices seek communion with the divine. I've heart it said that prayer is the act of talking to God, while meditation is the act of listening.

Take a wild guess as to which comes easier for me. I can prattle away to God about all my feelings and problems all the livelong day but when it comes time to descend into silence and listen..well, that's a different story. When I ask my mind to rest in stillness, it is astonishing how quickly it will turn (1) bored, (2)angry, (3) depressed, (4)anxious or (5)all of the above.

Like most humanoids, I am burdened with what the Buddhists call the "moneky mind"- the thoughs that swing from limb to limb, stopping only to scratch themselves, spit and howl. From the distant past to the unknown future, my mind swings wildly through time, touching on dozens of ideas a minute, unharnessed and undisciplined.

This in itself is not necessaryily a problem; the problem is the emotional attachment that goes along with the thinking. Happy thoughts make me happy, but -Whoop!-how quickly I swing again into obsessive worry, blowing the mood; and then it's the remembrance of an angry moment and I start to get hot and pissed off all over again; and then my mind decides it might be a good time to start feeling sorry for itself, and loneliness follows promptly. You are, after all, what you think. Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts, and you are the slave to your emotions.

The other problem with all this swinging through the vines of thoughts is that you are never where you are. You are always digging in the past or poking at the future, rarely do you rest in this moment. It's something like the habit of my dear friend Susan, who- whenever she sees a beautiful place-exclaims in near panic, "It's so beautiful here! I want to come back here someday!" and it takes all of my persuasive powers to try to convince her that she is already here.

If you are looking for union with the divine, this kind of forwards/backward whirling is a problem. There's a reason they call GOD a presence- beacuse God is right here, right now. In the present is the only place to find Him, and now is the only time.

Gosh..After reading this...I felt like I just looked at myself in the mirror.